Living with Less - Detoxing Your Mind

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Lately I've been having trouble sleeping. I've gone to bed thoroughly exhausted but no matter how tired my body is, I can't seem to shut my mind off.

As soon as my head hits the pillow, my thoughts start to race. I start to think about all the things I have to do, and the plans I need to make the next day. I'll think about all the things I'm worried about, and think of ways that I could fix the issues in my life. An hour or two (or three) later, I'm finally asleep.

The next day, I'm too exhausted to achieve all the things I thought about the night before which leave me feeling frustrated and planning when I go to bed the next night, and the cycle starts all over again.

I'm sure you've been there before and understand how frustrating it is when you can't control your thoughts. A racing mind can leave you consumed with worry and stress which negatively effects your overall health and well-being - an unfortunate side effect of our busy world!

I'm working on controlling my thoughts so I can create a more peaceful home inside my head which in time will create a healthier and happier me. It's time to s l o w  d o w n and edit your mind - so you can get some peace of mind!

Clear the busy air around you.

Turn your phone off, close the extra tabs, seek out somewhere quiet. Even if you're in a busy, urban area you can create your own peace and quiet by limiting your interactions with technology and other people.

For me this usually means putting my phone on silent in another room, or waking up while everyone else is asleep so I don't have to focus on anyone else but me for a while.

Let go of any regrets and accept them as lessons learned.

A lot of times when we stress out it's because of something we've done or said. We like to call these things "regrets".

Instead of regretting an experience, try to look at the experience as a lesson learned. Forgive yourself for making the mistake, tell yourself it won't happen again, and use your experience to create a better you in the future.

Accept the apology you never received.

Don't waste your energy and thoughts on someone that wouldn't do the same for you. It took me forever to learn this lesson, but it's an extremely valuable lesson.

When you hold off on forgiving someone (even for something as minor as bumping you on the bus), you're only hurting yourself by holding onto those negative feelings. If it's something major, don't accept the same poor treatment from someone (lesson learned) but allow yourself to live as if they already apologized and move on. If it's something small, don't sweat it!

Focus on your breathing.

The next time you're feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts, try focusing solely on your breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Let this task distract you for a while and calm you down. I've used this technique several times to help me fall asleep at night or when I've felt a sudden rush of anxiety.

Empty some of your thoughts on paper.

When your mind is racing with worry and thoughts, try emptying some of them onto paper, or into a journal. If you take a few minutes to write down your thoughts and acknowledge your feelings about them during the day, they'll be less likely to haunt you at night.

Indulge in less stimulants.

A stimulant is anything that increases your psychological energy. This can be caffeine, drugs, sugar - even certain people can be stimulants. Energy is good and essential to daily living, but too much can make your heart (and mind) race. Try cutting back, or eliminating your intake of stimulants to feel more balanced in life.

Let go of judgement and replace it with love.

Many of my negative thoughts in the past have revolved around my expectations and idea of what someone/something should be. Society has taught us that if someone/something is different then it's wrong. This idea is close-minded and does not contribute to the evolution of our world. 

Instead, replace judgment with love. Be open minded to new ways of seeing things, new ideas and new people. 

Let go of fear and replace it with trust.

As children we may have been afraid of the dark, or the monster under the bed however now that we're adults our fears have turned into something much worse.

We could be afraid of not being able to pay the bills, we could be afraid of losing our partner, or if not that - we could be afraid that we might be alone forever. We may be afraid of losing our health, our happiness, or even our hair. The options for things to fear are endless! No wonder half the world can't sleep at night.

A while ago I read a quote that resonated with me. "Worry does not take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace." When you let your fears control you and constantly worry about things, you're only robbing yourself of time, peace, and energy. Don't let this happen.

Replace your fear with trust. Trust that things happen for a reason. Trust that you can find a solution and get through this. Trust in the timing of your life.

Focus on the positive.

Sometimes I get really wrapped up in the all the negative in the world. It feels like my newsfeed is always plagued with another shooting, another genocide, another injustice, (or another certain president). When we're constantly bombarded with negative energy in the world, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed with sadness and anger, and feel depressed.

When I start feeling like this, I try to step back and think about the progress we've made in the world - and the progress still to come.

Change doesn't happen until someone rocks the boat. Sometimes you have to fall in the water to learn how to swim (a.k.a. a bunch of bad can eventually lead to a bunch of good.) The key is to keep fighting for what's right and surrounding yourself with those people that believe in the same love and beauty that you do. Let your positive and loving thoughts trump the negative ones. Pun intended.


Your mind is a powerful tool which effects your entire well-being and peace of mind - don't forget to cleanse and nourish it, as well as your body! 

Affirmations:

I let go of resentment, and replace it with forgiveness.
I let go of judgement, and replace it with love.
I let go of fear, and replace it with trust.
I am in control of my thoughts and happiness.
I allow peace and positivity into my life and mind.

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne


***On a side note - it's my birthday this weekend, yay! I'll be taking it easy and spending some time with loved ones. To celebrate I'm doing a sale on Etsy - Everything in the shop is 15% off until January 23rd. Just use the code "SURPRISE" during checkout!***

Living with Less Series #2 - Detoxing Your Relationships

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"You can't change a person".

We've all heard this expression. Heck, I've probably heard it 100x in my life but it was only a couple years ago when I really started to understand the truth behind the phrase, thanks to one specific person.

I am of course referring to my infamous ex-boyfriend, a.k.a. the life lesson. Since I mention him so often, let's make things simple and call him Francis.*

I remember being open minded and accepting during the pre-dating phase. However as soon as we had the label "boyfriend/girlfriend" I changed. Since we were official, I thought I could relax a little and be me - and me wanted Francis to change. 

I wanted to change the way he dressed. I wanted to change his home and wished he would be cleaner and tidier. I'd criticize his diet, and how he'd spend his time. I wanted him to be more attentive, and care more. In this instance, I was in the wrong for trying to make him something he's not, regardless of how nicely I asked, if my intentions were good, or if it was something I deserved.

If he indeed did all those things I wanted, and was all those things - he wouldn't be Francis. He'd be someone else. (Cue the ah ha moment in my life.)

You can't change a person. 

If you don't like a person/their behaviour/their lifestyle etc., you have two choices.

A) You can accept them as they are, or change your reaction and attitude towards them.
B) You can move on or cut them off.

In regards to my situation with Francis (and with any relationship, really) it's important to ask yourself why you want someone to change in the first place. Is it truly for their benefit, or for yours?

Are they doing something that's harmful or unkind? Could there be any miscommunication between you? Does this person add value or happiness to my life?

More than often, lack of communication, lack of contribution, and lack of listening is what creates a toxic relationship. Relationships should be give and take, each person working towards the same goal. If communication, listening and respect aren't in a relationship, it's not likely to be healthy and successful.

However let's state something important here about the latter - some people are just toxic and need to be cut off. 

Toxic people are the ones that leave you feeling drained, lonely, insignificant or any other negative emotion. They're the ones that leave you feeling physically ill or tense - maybe even with headaches or blotchy skin (almost like a food toxin's effect on you!) They are people that take more than they give, and are most often known to be the cause of "drama".

If you think this is the case do yourself a favour and cut them off from you.

Unfriend them on social media, delete their number, delete the pictures, avoid them, whatever helps you best remove them from your life (besides their untimely and suspicious death, obviously). Life is way too short to be around someone who makes you feel like less than you deserve.

Of course, we can't always cut off every toxic person from our lives. 

For instance, let's say you love your job but your boss constantly makes you feel underappreciated, insecure, or drained. There are several ways you could approach the issue.

1) You could avoid confrontation, keep your head down and continue to accept the negativity until it slowly eats away at your soul. This option could jeopardize both your physical and mental health by creating a chronically stressful situation for you.

2) You could communicate with your boss and let them know how they're making you feel, and suggest ways you could improve the situation. If it's just the relationship that's toxic, and not the person themselves, you may be able to use communication to improve the situation.

However this could have a backlash if the person themselves is toxic and they may feel threatened by your confrontation. Remember, you can't change a person.

3) You could quit the job, leave their negativity behind and jump into the waters of the great unknown. This is usually a last resort and is scary as hell to do but in the long run could lead to new opportunities and a healthier and happier life.

Making the choice to detox your relationships isn't always easy, but you need to make the right choice for you and your health. 

Take some time to evaluate your personal relationships. How does a certain person make you feel? Is there something you need to work on, or do you need to move on?

Respect yourself and set boundaries for those around you. Have the courage to communicate and confront toxic situations with the intention to create positive change.

If a person continuously causes you stress or pain, don't be afraid to limit your contact or cut them off completely. Accept that people can't be changed, and you can either love them as they are, or let them go. 

The choice is never easy, but the choice is yours. 

Namaste.

Brittany
@simplylynne

Tune in next week for the 3rd installment of our Living with Less Series: Detoxing Your Mind!


*Name changed for obvious reasons - you may know him!

Living with Less Series #1 - Detoxing Your Body

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Hello and welcome back! It's a new year and this is my first blog post of 2017.

I'm excited to announce that this month I'll be writing a blog post series about living with less. Since a new year is all about good intentions and self-improvement, this is a great chance to make some positive changes around your home, for your body and for your mind.

Now I don't know about you, but I ate pretty poorly over the holidays and I'm paying for it now. Large quantities of sugar, chocolate, fatty foods and bread have got me breaking out, and feeling bloated and sluggish. I know that what I eat has to do a lot with how I'm feeling (and looking) so I've really been evaluating my diet and lifestyle and have been looking to make some healthier changes.

Did you know that when you write down your goals you have a 21% increased chance in achieving them? It's even more likely if you write them down in your own handwriting. So this is me writing down my intentions to detox my life - starting with my body.

I'm sure you know the phrase "you are what you eat" and it's absolutely true. Same goes for what you put in your skin, what you breathe in, and what you drink.

When you put something laden with chemicals into your skin (I'm looking at you Bath and Body Works) or into your body (even most grocery store "healthy" fruits and veggies are soaked in toxins!) you're eventually going to have a negative reaction. This could do some serious long term damage to your health!

If you're looking to clean up your habits, here are some tips to detox your body for a healthier, happier you. If you see some ideas you want to work on, be sure to write them down or tell a friend to increase your chances of success!

1) Buy organic food as often as you can. 

Certain fruits and veggies carry more toxins in them (aka, The Dirty Dozen) and can carry up to 67 pesticides per serving. Yikes! If you can't buy all organic, make sure to wash fruits and veggies thoroughly before eating with a mild all natural soap. 

2) Eliminate (or eat less) gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, corn, peanuts and refined sugar. 

In an over-processed and chemical filled world today, allergies are on the rise. This list contains some of the most aggressive food allergens which can irritate the digestive system and in time threaten our immunity. Avoid them if you can!

If you are considering eliminating these things, I recommend checking out the Eating Clean Cookbook by Amie Valpone. I picked it up recently and am working through it for my own health plans. Not only does it include a 21 day plan to detox your diet, but it's filled with anti-allergen and vegan recipes which all look delicious!

Bonus points: Try adding more turmeric, honey, charcoal, and clay (yes, clay) to your diet. All can be extremely beneficial for your health and can help with detoxing and boosting your immunity. Just be sure to do some research first or consult your doctor!

3) Swap your cleaning products for chemical free versions. 

It's hard enough to avoid toxins outside the house (hello, carbon emissions) so why not make your own home a personal haven and minimize the chemical impact in your home environment. Try swapping out your average Mr. Clean for something gentler on the air and skin. There are many great earth and body friendly cleaners out there - or you can make your own!

I personally like a little vinegar water for cleaning with a few drops of lavender essential oil. Here are some other great recipes for All Purpose Cleaner, Laundry Detergent, Furniture Polish and more.

5) Purify your air with plants.

This one's a favourite of mine! Interestingly enough, I read somewhere once that the average home needs 14-16 plants to help keep the air pure in a home (looks like I'm going plant shopping). 

Plants breathe in carbon dioxide and can also absorb other harmful gases such as cigarette smoke, benzene from plastics and formaldehyde. Not only do they help purify the air but they add life and style to a home. So go ahead, buy another plant...for your health of course.

Not sure what plant to get to clean your air? Check out this list! 

4) Simplify and green your beauty routine. 

Most health and beauty products are filled with harmful chemicals and cheap fillers to lengthen the shelf life, all of which unregulated, not tested long term, and can cause serious health problems.

I can remember when I first read about a possible link between breast cancer and antiperspirant,and started researching the chemicals in health and beauty products. I was shocked by the amount of toxins included in everyday health and beauty items - all of which are mass produced and marketed to us (click here for a detailed article on toxic beauty).

Our skin is the largest organ on the body and absorbs 60% of what's put on it - make sure it's 60% of something kind and non-toxic. (I'll be doing a post on my favourite all natural health/beauty products within the next few weeks!)

A very helpful resource I like to use is the Good Guide.  You can type a product into this site and find out exactly what the ingredients are, how harmful they are and what they can do long term, and how ethical a beauty brand is. I've typed in Physician's Formula Organic Mascara for an example - take a look! 

5) Drink more water.

The average human body is 50-65% water which means you're most likely not getting as much water as your body needs to function fully and properly. Water is essential for flushing out toxins, promoting healthy skin, keeping the immune system in check and other sorts of great things. Green tea and lemon water are also extremely beneficial for detoxing the body. What are you waiting for? Drink up!

6) Sweat it out.

Staying active doesn't just keep you looking and feeling great - it also helps flush toxins out of the body during the sweating process. Crying is also great for releasing toxins (both physically and emotionally) so you can always curl up with The Notebook too. Don't forget tissues!

Detoxing your body is a great way to improve your overall heath and to keep your immune system in check. A healthy, organic diet, natural health and beauty products, and clean air environment are essential in working towards a non-toxic life. Try eliminating a few toxins from your routine today - the results can change your life!

Tune in for next week's Living with Less blog series post: Detoxing Your Relationships.

Namaste,

Brittany
@simplylynne

3 Things I Learned in 2016

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They say that the older you get, the faster time goes by. If this is the case, then I feel like I'm 103 because it feels like yesterday it was summer when actually it's winter and it's almost 2017. What sorcery is this!?

Anyways, this time of year always makes me both excited and anxious because it'll be a new year, and - it'll be a new year. There will be new opportunities, new challenges, and a fresh start. Everyone wants to start the new year off on the right foot, but part of growth is learning from past mistakes. 

This includes the mistakes you made in 2016. For some of you, this may have been colouring your hair "silver", getting back with an ex who wasn't good for you, or saying something mean when you shouldn't have. 

This week, I'd like to share some of my worst mistakes  best lessons learned over the past year. 

1) You don't have to settle. 

This year some of my biggest struggles revolved around a toxic ex-roommate and feeling undervalued at my workplace. These are common struggles around the world and situations that I've dealt with in the past, but this year the outcome was different: I learned that I didn't have to settle and I decided not to. 

To clarify, compromising is necessary in life, but settling is a choice. This year I decided to choose happiness and put myself first, instead of settling with situations and people that left me miserable or feeling less than I deserve. 

This included saying goodbye to a childhood friend - the same friend that became my roommate from hell over 2 years due to her unresolved mental health issues. I also said goodbye to a city and job because I no longer felt like I was a valued employee. Neither of these decisions were easy to make as they affected me mentally, physically and financially, but they were decisions which had to be made if I was going to do what was best for me. 

While I don't have everything worked out yet, I know I made the right decisions for both situations because I felt relieved immediately after I made the choice not to settle. There's always a choice!

2) It's okay to move on.

If you followed my blog about a year ago, then you'll already know that I had been going through a difficult breakup some time ago (catch up here!). It's a breakup that haunted me for the past 2 years - not because it was a long relationship but because it was the first relationship where I really, truly loved someone and opened up to them. 

This relationship ended almost 2 years ago, but I was still holding onto it. It's not that I wasn't trying - I was seeing other people and open to someone new, but no one as good or real (for me) came along. That is until I met my current boyfriend. 

I knew he adored me long before we even started dating, and I knew he was great and we had a lot in common - but I wasn't going to allow myself to jump into anything I wasn't sure about. So we started hanging out in May and after 3 months of friendship, I really started seeing things in him that I hadn't had in any previous relationship; I started comparing my ex to him, instead of him to my ex. I realized that this was someone really special - someone that was never going to intentionally hurt me and was always going to put me first. 

So before we headed out on our first vacation together, I wrote my ex-boyfriend a letter. It was handwritten and sent via snail mail - after asking his mom for his address because he had blocked me on everything else. 

In the letter, I apologized for the mistakes I made while we were together and let him know that I forgave him for his mistakes. I let him know that while things ended badly, I wasn't angry anymore and wished him the best. 

This was me letting him go. I was after 2 difficult years, finally able to set myself free from the pain of losing us. I learned that it was okay to love my ex without it holding me back from new love. I learned that it was okay to move on.

3) Sometimes you need to be aggressive.

In the past, I've had a habit of letting certain situations or negative treatment from people slide because it was easier than confrontation (does anybody actually like confrontation??) However most often than not, I've kicked myself after a bad situation for the things I should have said or did. I regret not taking a bigger stand when it mattered or for standing up for myself when I felt disrespected.

I've learned that sometimes you need to be aggressive. I'm not talking about getting up in someone's face for no reason, or throwing punches - I'm talking about thoughtfully and respectfully telling someone off when need be, or standing up for what's right. Words are powerful tools which can be used to debate, persuade and discuss. They can be used to defend yourself or create change for a bad situation. 

This past year, I've been working on speaking out more. I reported a professor who was cutting classes, being disrespectful to students and not taking our education seriously - she ended up being replaced for the semester because multiple students spoke up. When more people stand up for what's right, society progresses. 

Another example was when I asked a previous employer for a raise. In previous part-time jobs, I accepted the minimum wage I was offered with no fuss because I was young and unsure of myself and the job system. I felt that minimum wage was acceptable for someone of my experience/education etc. 

This year however after graduating with my second diploma, and with several years of experience under my belt, I was no longer going to accept an intern's wages. So I decided to speak up and brought the issue up with my employer. 

The outcome was that I was offered a raise, but in the end it wasn't significant enough to be worth my time and effort (or anywhere near the cost of living in Toronto) so I left the job. While I didn't get the outcome I necessarily wanted, I did learn that I can create change when I speak up. I learned that sometimes you need to be aggressive and ready to fight for what you really want. 

Photo by Chris Amorim.

To sum it up, 2016 was a good year with some valuable lessons learned. I've learned the value of speaking up and have grown into a person that's allowing myself to move on when things don't go as planned, and only pursuing things in life that make me truly happy. I'll be taking these lessons into the future where I know my future self will benefit from these experiences and wisdom as I continue on my journey of personal growth - I hope you will too!

I'll be on holiday next week but will be back with new blog posts in the new year. In the meantime, I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season. Cheers!

Brittany

@simplylynne

"The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself."
                                                                                                     - C. Joybell C.

Button Up Your Overcoat with Zelma and Jack

In an effort to escape the well-played Mariah Carey and Michael Buble this holiday season, I found some great playlists on Youtube with Christmas tunes from the 1900s-1950s (just search vintage Christmas music!)

 The one song in particular "Button Up Your Overcoat" with Jack and Zelma stole my heart.

 Enjoy!

❤❤❤